Preying Mantis
by thechaosdiva
Summary: Join the So Weird gang as they face bad guys, lewd sexual references, and the possibility of Annie singing. This story is finished!!!
1. Hi, My Name Is...

Chapter 1: Hi, My Name Is…  
  
"Girls rule, boys drool." "It's a girl's world, boys just live in it." "Girl power!" "You go girl." "Where's all my soul sisters, lemme hear y'all flow sisters. Hey sister, go sister, flow sister, soul sister…"  
  
Hi, I'm Fi, and those mindless ramblings above were taken from Annie's goofy little fashion magazines. Except for the last one. What can I say, I like that song!! Anyways, it made me think about women's lib and all that sort of thing. I mean, quotes like the ones I've just mentioned aren't meant to be taken seriously. They stick them on glittery T-shirts, for gosh sakes! But then I started thinking, what if there are females out there who take this stuff seriously? What then?  
  
Yeah, you're probably right, I am suffering from an Annie-induced headache, but what can I do? She's not an evil type of girl, she's just…perky. Mind-numbingly perky.   
  
Actually, you may be wondering what I'm doing here in the first place. For those of you out there who keep tabs on my life, you know that I went to Seattle for the school year, and I know, according to your calculations, that the school year's not over yet. So let me fill you in on what happened. I was living my life like any normal teenage girl; shopping, sleeping, avoiding homework and chores, that sort of thing. It was kind of fun at first, but then I started sleeping more, avoiding my new friends, and using the Internet every spare chance I got. It was then that Aunt Melinda called Mom. Apparently I showed signs of depression. I was like, "No shit, Sherlock," and then the powers that be (namely Mom and Melinda) decided it would be better for everyone if I went back on the road. So I came back, and of course we can't kick Annie out (well, we could, but there's that whole lawsuit thing we'd have to deal with) because her parents are in freakin' Pakistan. Who voluntarily goes to Pakistan!!!??? I don't know, but they're related to Annie, so go figure.  
  
Hold on. Before you bite my head off about being less-than-kind to Annie, let me set the record straight. I'm psyched that Annie's here. I mean, come on, can you actually picture me sharing my troubles with Clu, especially around "that time of the month"? It might go something like this:  
  
"Hey, Fi, you look bummed out, what's wrong?"  
  
"Oh thank God it's you Clu, finally I have someone to talk to!! You wouldn't believe the cramps I've been having! Clu? Clu? Where'd you go?"  
  
See what I mean?  



	2. Dumb Blondes...

Chapter 2: Dumb Blondes…  
  
Ah, the bus. How I've missed you, you old hunk of metal. It's times like this when I feel as if I've never left.  
  
"Hi, Fi!!"  
  
And times like this that remind me that I have.  
  
"Hi, Annie."  
  
"What're you doing?" asked Annie, settling into a chair next to me.  
  
I sighed, "Just thinking how good it is to be home."  
  
"On this little bus?"  
  
"Annie," I said, turning towards her, "This bus is my life; it's practically all I know. Yeah, it's a little small, but it's been a home to me."  
  
"Oh," said Annie, pausing.  
  
It was during that short pause that we were presented with an overload of testosterone.  
  
"Hi, Fi!" cried Clu, practically bouncing into the room, his eyes bright. "What's up?"  
  
"Clu?" I asked, "Why are you so…perky?"  
  
"Cause my Fi-Pod is back!" he said, nuzzling his head into my shoulder.  
  
"Yeah, and you're my Bell pepper, but let's keep the goofy names to a minimum. Okay?" I said, ruffling his hair.  
  
Annie looked confused. "Are you two…involved?" she asked in a hushed whisper.  
  
I stared at Annie. Oh, she thinks…well, I'm not gonna pass this up.  
  
"Yes, Annie," I said, stroking Clu's hair, "We are very much involved, and very much in love, and we'd really prefer you to not be here right now."  
  
"Really?" said Annie, "Gosh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."  
  
And with that she left the room.  
  
"Dude," said Clu looking at me, "I didn't know we were involved. Should we seal this moment with a kiss?" And he puckered up his lips moving closer towards me.  
  
He wound up with a mouthful of pillow.  
  
"Clu, you dumbass," I hissed, "I only said that so Annie would leave!"  
  
"So you do want to be alone with me," he said, licking his lips.   
  
I stared at him, "Clu, don't be dense."  
  
Yes, I realize that was an impossible request.  



	3. Misunderstandings...

Chapter 3: Misunderstandings…  
  
Okay, I'm bored. Time to see what everyone else is doing. I walked into the front part of the bus and saw Mom and Carey poring over a set list.  
  
"What's this, mom?" I asked, picking up an official-looking envelope from the table.   
  
"Oh, honey, that's an invitation," said Mom.  
  
"To what?" I asked. I would've looked at the papers inside, but that's not right, and we all know how well I follow orders.  
  
"To a Women in Rock festival," said Mom, handing Carey a stack of songs.  
  
"Uh, mom, I hate to burst your bubble, but they already had one of those. Does Lillith Fair ring a bell?"   
  
"Baby," sighed Mom looking up, "This is a tiny festival. There are only a few acts."  
  
"Then why do it?" I asked.  
  
"Fi," began Carey, "A gig is a gig."  
  
"True," said Mom, swatting at him, "But I feel it's important for women to get together to show what our creativity can produce, song-wise."  
  
"Bad news, Mom," said Jack, who had just walked into the room, "They already had one of those. Don't you remember Lillith Fair?"  
  
I stared at Jack. How could we be so different, yet so completely alike?  
  
"It's a special little thing, Jack," I explained.  
  
"What's special?" asked Annie, bouncing into the room. Damn that girl is peppy! I wonder what she's on?  
  
Mom sighed, "Okay, everybody here now!"   
  
Clu walked into the room, "Hey Mrs. P, what's going on?"  
  
"Okay," said Mom, throwing her arms out, "I am performing in a Women in Rock festival. It is NOT Lillith Fair, but it is similar. That is all!! Now, does anyone have something they would like to say!!?"  
  
Clu elbowed me. "Fi!" he whispered, "Shouldn't we tell them about us?"  
  
"There is no us!!!" I hissed.  
  
"You broke up?" asked Annie, a sympathetic look on her face.  
  
"AUGGHHHHH!!!!!" I cried. When did life get so complicated!?  



	4. It's A Boy!!!

Chapter 4: It's A Boy!!!  
  
There is indeed a Hell. You know why I can say, with complete confidence that there is a Hell? Because I'm living it right now. Annie is in the front of the bus, practicing her singing for the concert. Guess Mom hasn't told her yet that she won't be singing. Carey and Jack are singing "One Million Bottles of Beer" to try to drown her out, and Clu has become my shadow. Not that he wasn't already, it's just…well…he's never acted quite this strange before.  
  
"Fi?" Clu asked, moving closer towards me to my spot on the couch.  
  
"Yes, Clu?" I replied. STRENGTH!!! For the love of God, give me strength.  
  
"I was just wondering…should we name the kid Gideon if it's a boy? I always liked the name Gideon. Or how about Ambrose? Wouldn't that be cool?" Clu stared at me eagerly.  
  
"WHAT!!!!!!!?" cried Jack, breaking off in the middle of bottle ninety-nine thousand something-or-other. He stared at me, his breath coming out in short gasps.   
  
"Before I bash his head in, is there something you'd like to explain to me!!!!!?????" he seethed.  
  
Okay, it's official. I hate Clu.  
  
"Relax, Jack," said Clu, "we're only discussing possible names for our FUTURE kids."  
  
"WHAT!?" cried Jack, still in shock.  
  
"JACK!" I cried, "There is nothing going on between Clu and me!!!! Honestly Jack; think about that for a minute!!!!!!"  
  
Jack stood there for a moment, seething quietly as Carey, Clu, and I looked at him in fear.  
  
"Well…" he began, "I guess then I have nothing to be angry over…"  
  
"Right," said Carey, trying to sound as soothing as possible, "Now why don't we go…talk to Annie?"  
  
"Okay…" started Jack, "But she better not be talking about names for any kids!!" he finished as the two left the room.  
  
I stared at Clu in shock.  
  
"What?" he asked, pushing his hair out of his eyes.  
  
I kept staring at him.  
  
"Ohhhhhh…I get it," he said, "You wanted to get rid of them, keep them off-guard."  
  
He snuggled up to me as I sat there in total shock at his stupidity.  
  
"You're so smart, Fi," he said, resting his head in my lap and proceeding to fall asleep.  
  
If I'm so smart, how the Hell did I get into this mess?  



	5. Creepy People

Chapter 5: Creepy People  
  
You know what I love about tiny concerts? The fact that even in a crowd of a few hundred people, you can still manage to get yourself lost. So here I am. Lost. Oh well, I guess it could be worse.  
  
"Hi, Fi!"  
  
It just got worse.  
  
"Hi, Annie."  
  
"What're you doing?" she asked, twirling a strand of long blonde hair around her finger.  
  
"Just…hanging out," I replied.  
  
"Cool!" she said, falling into step next to me, "I can't find anyone else. I was starting to think I'd be lost forever until you showed up."  
  
"Great…" I said. Why don't things ever turn out well?  
  
So we walked throughout the small festival, Annie prattling on about some exploit that had happened in school the other day when we came across a circle of tents. Annie stopped talking as the deafening silence overtook our senses.  
  
"Fi?" she whispered, "this is kinda creepy."  
  
I was about to make a smart remark to her when the back of my neck felt all prickly. I don't like it when that happens. I ran my hand slowly over my neck.  
  
"Annie?" I whispered, "let's take a look around, shall we?"  
  
Annie solemnly nodded and walked behind me as we crept through the rows of tents. My heart was doing a marathon inside my chest, and I'm sure Annie's was, too. I heard a loud laugh and immediately I ducked behind the nearest tent, dragging Annie with me. We hesitantly peered around the tent as two extremely tall women walked by.  
  
"This is brilliant," said one of the women, tossing her bright red hair out of her face.  
  
"I know," replied her blonde friend, "I'm quite proud of myself for putting this whole thing together."  
  
"You've always been so wise," gushed the redhead, "I can only hope of being as intelligent as you."  
  
"Oh, you will," said the blonde, wrapping her arm around the redhead's shoulders, "And just think; this never would've happened had we not run out of fuel."  
  
The two women walked off, still chuckling. I turned to Annie, whose eyes were wide open with fear.  
  
"What did they mean, 'run out of fuel'?" I asked.  
  
  



	6. Scooby Dooby Don't

Chapter 6: Scooby Dooby Don't  
  
It was then that I decided that I absolutely HAD to know what was going on. Those women should know better than to say things like that around me!! I turned to Annie, who wore a look of shock on her face.  
  
"Annie?" I asked, almost hesitant in my next question, "Do you think we should find out what these women are up to?"  
  
Annie's eyes sparkled. "Fi, this is so exciting!! A real adventure!! I feel like I'm Daphne and you're Velma!! Hmmm, maybe Clu could be Shaggy…"  
  
"Annie!" I cried, "This is important!!"  
  
Then I turned and began to tiptoe up the path which the two women had so recently walked upon. In a flash of comprehension I ran back to Annie.  
  
"Why am I Velma!!?" I hissed.  
  
Annie looked at me blankly.  
  
"What?" she asked.  
  
"Why am I Velma!!!?" I demanded, "I don't even LIKE Velma!!!"  
  
"Well," said Annie, "you're more like her, calculating and thoughtful."  
  
And you're like Daphne, I thought, a brainless bimbo.  
  
"Whatever," I said hurriedly, attempting to change the subject, "Let's follow them."  
  
And we would have too, if it hadn't been for those meddling boys and their inappropriate timing.  
  
"Hey Annie; Fi," said Jack coming up behind us, "What's up?"  
  
Annie and I jumped up and whirled around. Jack stared at us quizzically as Clu jogged up behind him.  
  
"Hey, Jack!!! You found the girls!!" he broke into a broad smile.  
  
"Fi," said Jack, "What were you doing hunched behind this tent?"  
  
Annie straightened up. "Well, Jack, we were just spying on…"  
  
"The performers!!!!!" I blurted out, "We were spying on the performers so we could get an autograph!!!"  
  
"Well then let me be the one to solve your troubles," said Clu, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.  
  
Shrugging out of his grasp I stared at a scene taking place a few yards away. I grabbed Annie's arm and pulled her over to me.  
  
"Annie," I whispered into her ear, "stall these two until I get back, I want to check something out."  
  
And with that I turned around.  
  
"You know, I'm going to find the bathroom," I said.  
  
"I'll walk with you," said Clu.  
  
"NO!!!!!" cried Annie as Jack, Clu, and several people looked at her.  
  
"Uh…I mean…um…JACK!!! You need to show me how to…juggle…so that I can do it for a stage act!! Come on you guys, let's find something I can juggle with," she babbled, dragging them off with her.  
  
Laughing quietly to myself I turned around and crept over to the scene that I found so very interesting. Hiding behind a barrel on the ground I watched as the tall redheaded woman we had seen earlier approached Carey, who was standing at a table strumming his guitar.  
  
"Hi," she said to Carey, her voice low and sultry.  
  
Carey turned and stared at the woman. Sheesh, you'd think he'd never seen a girl before!!  
  
"Uh…hello," he said nervously.  
  
Brilliant, Einstein.  
  
The woman, hereafter known as Red, walked up to him and lightly ran her hand over his guitar.  
  
"You handle your equipment very well," she purred.  
  
I nearly hurled right there.  
  
Carey blushed to the roots of his hair and nearly dropped his guitar.  
  
"Um…thanks," he finished weakly.  
  
"I'll bet you work out," she murmured, running her hand up Carey's chest, "You're very…defined."  
  
Carey's eyes grew large. Say something you nimrod!!!  
  
"Uh…hahahahaha…um…"  
  
Not that.  
  
"I was wondering," Red cooed, "why don't you come back to my trailer with me and I'll show you how well I can handle your…equipment."  
  
EWWWW!!!!! Not hearing this, not hearing this!!!  
  
Carey's eyes widened and his breathing became labored.  
  
"Uh, well, um…er…uh…"  
  
"CAREY!"  
  
I turned quickly. MOM! I ducked down, pretending to be tying my shoe. Mom walked up to Carey and Red.  
  
"Hi, Molly," croaked Carey, beads of sweat glistening on his forehead.  
  
"Carey, what's wrong with you?" Mom asked, "Your face is flushed and you're sweating!!"  
  
Red coolly stared at Mom, "Carey and I were just…talking."  
  
Mom smiled. "Oh, that's nice. Carey, we have to rehearse, so maybe we'll see you later?" she asked turning to Red.  
  
"Perhaps…" said Red, an icy tone unmistakable in her words.  
  
Carey weakly grinned at Red, picked up his guitar and followed Mom, tripping over some rocks in the ground.  
  
I watched Red as they left. She was watching Carey, a look of determination on her face.   
  
"Well, if that's how you want to play it, Molly Phillips, I am also an expert. It's my move, and you're in checkmate…" she hissed, walking off.  
  
I stared at Red as she stalked off. What did she have planned?  



	7. Apples and Teardrops

Chapter 7: Apples and Teardrops  
  
I slowly walked through the festival thinking about what I had just witnessed. I mean, I think the whole thing might have permanently scarred me for life. Yeah, I guess Carey's good-looking and all, but UGH!!! That's just something I never wanted to see or hear EVER again.   
  
"Fi!!!"  
  
I turned around to see Clu running up to me.  
  
"Hey, Clu," I said distractedly, my mind still on what had just happened, "Where'd Jack and Annie go?"  
  
Clu paused for a moment pursing his lips; "Well," he said, "Annie was juggling apples and one kinda hit her in the head and so Jack took her to the Infirmary."  
  
Annie got hit in the head with an apple? Are you sure someone didn't throw it at her?  
  
I tried to muffle my laughter, but failed spectacularly.  
  
Clu grinned; apparently amazed that he had elicited a response from me. He bit his lower lip and paused again. He blew his breath out loudly several times, which was really annoying and finally I exploded.  
  
"CLU!!! What do you want!!??"  
  
Then I experienced the single most nauseating thing in my life. Clu kind of roughly grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into him, pressing his lips against mine. And here's the nauseating part, if you weren't sick already. He jammed his tongue down my throat, causing me to start violently gagging.  
  
Pushing furiously I managed to shove Clu off of me.  
  
"What the HELL was that!!!!?" I cried, staring at his bemused expression.  
  
"I…I thought that was what you wanted!!" he pleaded.  
  
Shivering with disgust I stepped farther away from him.  
  
"What ever gave you that idea!!??"  
  
His eyes flashed in anger.  
  
"YOU!!!" he thundered, "You were the one who was always so flirty with me, playing with my hair, sneaking glances at me!! Don't try to deny it!!! I saw you!!!"  
  
"I…I was just being FRIENDLY!!" I roared back, "I have no romantic feelings for you!! I've never had romantic feelings for you!!! You must be insane!!! God, you're even dumber than I thought you were!!!!!!!!!"  
  
And then it hit me. The deafening silence. The amazed look on the faces of the audience that had gathered around us. The look of sheer pain and shock on Clu's face. What had I done?  
  
Clu stared at me; his pale blue eyes now a whirlwind of midnight. He walked up to me, and I saw a glimmer of a tear in the corner of his eye.  
  
"Well," he began, "I'm not too dumb to know I'm not wanted."  
  
And he turned around and stalked off.  



	8. Prognostication

Chapter 8: Prognostication  
  
Clu walked slowly throughout the festival, his eyes scanning the crowd, his mouth curling into a sneer of disgust every time he spotted a happy couple. He thought to himself as he walked, wondering how Fi could have possibly treated him so badly. She was his best friend after all.  
  
"At least…she used to be…" he murmured.  
  
He gave a heavy sigh and trudged onwards, his feet kicking up a small cloud of dust as he walked. His head drooped downwards and he stared at his dirty sneakers. Why did they appear blurry?   
  
"I didn't think I needed glasses," he mumbled.  
  
Suddenly he felt something trickling down his cheek. It wasn't raining, he noted, but the drops kept on coming. He wiped his eyes, realizing with a start that these were his tears trickling down his face. Hastily he looked around, trying to find a quiet spot where he could cry in peace. He ran past some people, ignoring the fact that he had no idea where he was going. He ran and ran and it seemed as if he ran forever. Exhausted he slumped onto the ground, grateful for the silence and serenity that was broken only by his muffled sobs. He seemed to cry forever, all his emotions washing out in a downpour of tears. When his tears seemed to have dried up, Clu sat there replaying the scene in his head.  
  
"Maybe I really am stupid…"  
  
"Stupid?" came a voice.  
  
Clu looked up, startled beyond belief, anger pooling in the pit of his stomach. Why can't I just cry in peace? he wondered, glaring accusingly at the person behind the voice. His eyes widened when he saw that it was a tall beautiful woman, her face framed by long blonde hair.  
  
"Uh…" he uttered, unable to think of anything else to say.  
  
The woman sat next to him and curled her legs up underneath her.  
  
"Who thinks you're stupid?" she asked, her soothing voice a melody to Clu's ears.  
  
"My best…well…former best friend…" he said hesitantly.  
  
"Well he…"  
  
"She," Clu interrupted.  
  
"She probably wasn't worth the effort," said the blonde, tucking a strand of Clu's hair behind his ear.  
  
With that one simple gesture Clu felt as if he had known this woman his whole life and he trusted and believed everything she said.  
  
"What…what's your name?" he said, almost whispering the words.  
  
"Calendrica…" she said softly, running her hand down Clu's jaw.  
  
He melted from her touch and sighed, leaning against Calendrica as she cradled him in her arms, running her nimble fingers through his silky hair. Clu smiled and closed his eyes, feeling calmer and more peaceful than he ever had before.  
  
He didn't notice the smirk on Calendrica's face as he drifted off into a light sleep.  



	9. Malvagita and Mr. Bun-Bun

Chapter 9: Malvagita and Mr. Bun-Bun  
  
  
Life sucks. I wonder what would happen if I decided to throw myself in front of the bus. I couldn't feel any worse than I do now. I don't know what made me so angry. I guess I was just sick of Clu's actions. I mean, he kissed me!!! You just don't go around kissing people like that!!! Not without asking anyways.  
  
I trudged slowly through the festival, wallowing in self pity, when I decided to check my watch. It was 2:15. Mom's set was on in fifteen minutes! I hurriedly ran towards the arena. I was running so fast that I almost missed a very interesting exchange taking place. Almost being the key word. I crept over, hiding behind an extremely convenient hay bale listening to the conversation that was now taking place between Red and Jack.  
  
"So, your mother is Molly Phillips? That's so interesting. I'm a huge fan."  
  
"Yeah, I'm her son, Jack."  
  
"I'm Malvagita. It's an absolute pleasure to meet you, Jack."  
  
"Uh, well, thanks…"  
  
"I've always had a thing for curly hair, you know."  
  
Dang, this woman never gives up, does she?  
  
"How…interesting…uh…"  
  
"Jack, why don't we take a walk, get better acquainted."  
  
"Uh…"  
  
No, Jack, no!!!!  
  
"Sure."  
  
Dammit, Jack!!!! Why must you males constantly be thinking with the wrong head!!!!!?  
  
The two walked off, Malvagita slipping her arm through Jack's. My eyes narrowed into slits. What was she up to? I stood up and was about to follow them when…  
  
"Hi, Fi!!!"  
  
"GAAAHHHH!!!! Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Annie, don't DO that!!!!!!"  
  
"Sorry," said Annie pitifully, "I was just wondering what's up?"  
  
I turned to stare at her. Annie had a band-aid plastered on her temple.  
  
"Annie…what's with the…" I motioned to it.  
  
"Oh," said Annie, "Well, I distracted the boys like you said to, only the apple I was juggling hit me in the head."  
  
"That wouldn't have caused your skin to break open, though," I pointed out.  
  
"Oh, well the nurse said she'd never seen such a random act of stupidity, and she didn't know what to do, so she just put the band-aid on and told us to leave."  
  
"Well, why aren't you with Jack?" I asked.  
  
"I was, but then I saw a carnival game where you can win a fluffy toy bunny, and so I decided to play. Look!!!" she cried, thrusting a bright purple bunny in my face, "His name's Mr. Bun-Bun!!!"  
  
"Lovely," I muttered, pushing Mr. Bun-Bun out of the way, "Look, we have a problem."  
  
"What is it?" asked Annie, her eyes wide.  
  
"You remember that lady we saw before, the one with the red hair?"  
  
"Yeah…why?"  
  
"Well, I saw her coming on to Carey, and just now she was flirting with Jack!!"  
  
"So?"  
  
"So, she's evil!!! Remember, they were talking about fuel and…stuff!!!"  
  
"Oh, yeah…but why would Jack and Carey be involved?"  
  
"I don't know, but we're gonna find out!! Come on!!"  
  
I ran after Jack, Annie trailing at my heels.  
  



	10. Ice Cold Lemonade

Chapter 10: Ice Cold Lemonade  
  
We ran after Malvagita and Jack, keeping a safe distance behind them. They appeared to be going through the festival back to where the tents had been set up.   
  
"Annie!!" I hissed as I ran.  
  
No answer.  
  
"ANNIE!!!" I hissed again.  
  
No answer.  
  
I stopped running and turned around. Annie was nowhere in sight. Sighing heavily, I jogged back, retracing my steps looking for that familiar blonde head. Which eventually I found sitting on a hay bale drinking a lemonade.  
  
"Annie? What're you doing?" I asked, exasperated with her.  
  
"Drinking lemonade. You want some?" she asked, holding out the lemonade to me.  
  
Well, I had been running, and I was kind of tired…  
  
"Sure," I said, taking a gulp. Ahhhh, nice and cool. Didn't I have a point I was trying to make?  
  
"Fi?" asked Annie, taking back the lemonade I handed her, "Isn't that Clu?"  
  
Refusing to turn around, I shortly replied, "I wouldn't know."  
  
"Yeah, it is Clu!! Wait…who's he with…? Fi, doesn't that girl look familiar?"  
  
A girl!!!! Well, it's nice to see I can be replaced so easily. I turned around and my jaw dropped at what I saw. It was a girl, well, a woman more like it, and she was well…up on Clu like white on rice. Or brown on rice if you prefer brown rice, but that's not the point. You just shouldn't do some things in public, and I think a major grope session is one of them. But still, the woman looked familiar…  
  
"Hey!!!!" said Annie, her eyes lighting up, "I know why that girl looks familiar!!! She was one of those ladies, with the fuel and everything."  
  
Holy Mother of Crap, Annie was right.   
  
"Wait a minute," I said, staring at Annie, "Those two women are up to something. What do they want Jack and Clu for…?"  
  
"Dunno," said Annie cheerfully, "But Mr. Bun-Bun thinks we should follow them."   
  
And with that she was off.  
  
"We should listen to Mr. Bun-Bun more often," I muttered, chasing after her.  
  
  



	11. Pretty Colors...

Chapter 11: Pretty Colors…  
  
Eventually I caught up with Annie. It was sad really, I'm too short to keep up with her, but that didn't matter, because Annie had stopped running.  
  
"What's going on?" I asked, pushing in front of Annie.  
  
"Look at the pretty colors…" she sighed.  
  
Colors?  
  
I looked at where Annie was staring. A tent was set up, and a soft pulsating light emitted from it. It was faint, but if you concentrated on it, you could definitely tell something was up. I had to check it out, so I began towards it.  
  
"Wait for me, Fi!!!" cried Annie, running behind me.  
  
"SSSHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" I hissed, adding in a whisper, "Do you want us to get caught!!!?"  
  
"No," whispered Annie, quietly following behind me.  
  
I walked over to where the tent flap was, pausing slightly. Did I want to risk getting caught?  
  
"Annie!!!" I hissed.  
  
"Hmmm?" she said.  
  
"Look in there."  
  
Annie came up behind me and hesitantly opened the flap. Her eyes grew large and her mouth dropped open.  
  
"Wicked…" she said softly.  
  
Pushing her out of the way I peered in. A large object rested inside the tent, softly glowing red, then blue, then yellow. I nearly fell over in shock.  
  
"Wow…Annie, do you know what this is?"  
  
"No…"  
  
"It looks like a spaceship!"  
  
"Really? Cool…"  
I stared at the ship, memorizing the curve of the metal and the flash of the lights.  
  
"At least now we know what ran out of fuel…" I muttered.  
  



	12. Mr. Bun-Bun Comes in Handy…

Chapter 12: Mr. Bun-Bun Comes in Handy…  
  
I was astounded. I never expected to find anything of this magnitude at a dinky festival. I wonder who it belongs to?  
  
I turned to Annie, who was now deep in conversation with Mr. Bun-Bun.  
  
"So you think that perhaps Jack and Clu and those mystery ladies have something to do with this?" she asked Mr. Bun-Bun.  
  
I can't believe she's talking to a stuffed rabbit. And what's sad is I think Mr. Bun-Bun's right.  
  
"Annie!!" I cried, "We lost track of where those women were taking Clu and Jack!!!"  
  
Annie frowned, "Well, they have to be somewhere around here, I mean, those two women did say they were in charge of this festival."  
  
Since when did Annie become smart?  
  
"Wow, Annie, that's actually a really smart observa…"  
  
"Hmm?" she asked, dancing with Mr. Bun-Bun.  
  
"Never mind."  
  
We left the tent and began to walk through the festival, looking for any sign of Clu or Jack. I had just about given up when I saw a bright blue flash ahead of us. It was Clu's shirt!!!  
  
"Annie, I see Clu, come on!!"  
  
We ran through the crowd, taking care to not be seen. We followed until we reached the edges of the festival, and saw the tall blonde leading Clu into a small shack a couple hundred yards away. Peering around I headed up to the shack, Annie right behind me. The door was slightly open and I turned to Annie.  
  
"Open the door…" I hissed.  
  
Annie walked over and gently nudged the door. It swung open.  
  
"Nice security precautions…" I muttered.  
  
I peered into the shack. It was one room, fairly dark and dusty, with a table and two chairs set up inside it and an obviously unused fireplace in the corner. There was not, however any sign of Clu, Jack, or the women. I walked in, expecting the floorboards to creak, but they were surprisingly silent. I turned and grabbed Annie, pulling her in with me. If I was gonna get caught, I certainly wasn't gonna be the only one!!!!!!!  
  
Annie looked around.  
  
"Where'd they go?" she asked.  
  
"That's what I'm trying to figure out…" I said softly.  
  
I walked across the room, peering around for any sort of secret room or portal.  
  
"Damn… I have no idea where they could be…"  
  
"AAAAHHHHH!!!!" cried Annie, hurling Mr. Bun-Bun across the room.  
  
"Annie!!!!" I hissed, "You'll get us caught!!!"  
  
"But there was a spider on Mr. Bun-Bun and whoa…" Annie trailed off; her eyes as large as quarters.  
  
I turned quickly. Mr. Bun-Bun had landed on the mantel of the fireplace, and where once was a fireplace now was a tunnel.  
  
"Well…I guess Mr. Bun-Bun came in handy…" I whispered to Annie as we made our way over to the tunnel and began to walk the sloping downward spiral.  



	13. Annie and Fi and Calendrica and Malvagit...

Chapter 13: Annie and Fi and Calendrica and Malvagita  
  
You would think it would grow colder underground, but it really wasn't all that bad. The tunnel was dimly lit with torches in rusty sconces. Annie walked behind me so closely I could hear her hushed breaths as they came out in little bursts. I was nervous as well. Who knows what these evil women were doing to Jack and Clu!!? Wait…what was that?  
  
"Do you hear something?" I whispered to Annie. She shook her head.  
  
We continued walking. The tunnel seemed to go on forever. Then, I heard it again…  
  
"Didn't you hear that!!?" I demanded softly. She started to shake her head, but then a loud noise came wafting up through the tunnel.  
  
"I heard that," squeaked Annie.   
  
"Me too," I whispered, and as we rounded the next corner, we found ourselves looking into a large room.   
  
I pulled Annie with me as we ducked behind a long table. We scrunched down, our backs flat against the wall and our eyes curiously devouring the scene in front of us. Jack and Clu were both chained to the stone wall by their arms and legs, their eyes large and clearly frightened. They had bandannas wrapped tightly around their mouths to prevent screaming. The two women from before stood in front of them, clearly pleased with themselves.  
  
"Calendrica, dear, you are a genius," said Malvagita, running her hand down Clu's face. He stared at her hand, his eyes narrowed.  
  
"He's so delicate and perfect…simply beautiful…" she murmured, smiling sweetly at Clu.   
  
Clu did not return the smile.  
  
Calendrica looked at Jack, her mouth curling into a sneer.  
  
"Malvagita, he's rather…short, isn't he?" she asked.  
  
Don't you call my brother short!!!!!  
  
"And…well…he's certainly not what I would consider beautiful," she said, grabbing Jack's jaw and twisting his head back and forth, "But he does have nice bone structure…"  
  
Nice bone structure my ass.  
  
Malvagita walked over to Calendrica, a scowl on her face.  
  
"He was not my first choice," she said sullenly, "I wanted the tall blonde we saw earlier. I almost had him too, but that Phillips woman took him from me."  
  
Carey? She wanted Carey?  
  
"So why take this one?" said Calendrica, dismissing Jack with a wave of her hand.   
  
Jack snarled behind his bandanna and glared at her.  
  
Malvagita walked over to Jack, "He is the son of Molly Phillips. If I take him it will cause her more pain than she would ever know."  
  
"Take him where?" whispered Annie. I shushed her, eager to hear what the women were saying.  
  
"Ahhhh…" said Calendrica, "now I understand."  
  
She walked over to Jack and ran her hand over his chest.  
  
"He is solid," she noted, "I must admit that."  
  
Malvagita nodded and walked up to Jack.  
  
"You hear that, love?" she cooed, "You're going to be fine after all."  
  
Smiling at Jack she ran her fingers over the bandanna.   
  
"He has the softest most perfect lips ever…" Malvagita murmured, still stroking the bandanna. Jack writhed his head away and tried to lash out at her, but his arms and legs held fast.  
  
"He's too feisty for me," declared Calendrica as she made her way to Clu's side, "I like them docile and mindful."  
  
I stared at Clu. The sparkle had left his otherwise cheerful blue eyes, as though a part of him had died. He didn't struggle as Calendrica stroked his face, nor did he lash out when she ran her hands down his chest. He just looked miserable, like he didn't care what happened.  
  
I had to save them.  
  
I had to save him.   
  
  



	14. Secrets Revealed

Chapter 14: Secrets Revealed  
  
Of course, saving them would require a plan. I didn't have a plan. I turned to look at Annie. She looked scared out of her mind. I seriously doubt she had a plan either. I turned back to stare at the women, scrunching even smaller so that they wouldn't see us. I needn't have worried, though, because they weren't even remotely close to us. They were focused on Jack and Clu, who were looking very uncomfortable. Of course, if I was chained up by my arms and legs, I doubt I'd be very comfy. The blonde, Calendrica, walked up to Clu, eyeing him, well, like a lion eyes a T-Bone.  
  
"Clu, sweetie, let's not be so unhappy," she said, stroking his hair.   
  
Malvagita scoffed, "I'll bet that's how he looks all the time. Honestly, Calendrica, why'd you pick him? He looks kind of…dumb."  
  
Clu's eyes flashed and he began to struggle fiercely against the bindings.  
  
Calendrica glared coldly at Malvagita, walked over to her and deftly slapped her across the face.  
  
"My choices are none of your business. And might I remind you I'm not the one who picked an extremely poor substitute for the one that got away. I suggest you tend to your own pathetic boy, and leave me to my golden child. Remember who is in charge here."  
  
Her voice was sharp, like ice and venom all rolled into one. I felt my blood run cold at her words, feeling anger swell up in me as she insulted my brother. Malvagita's eyes lowered and she walked over to Jack, who was screaming muffled obscenities through his bandanna. Malvagita glared at him and with a few choice whispered words, Jack's voice was silenced. His eyes darted around the room, looking desperately for a way out, and when he found none, he slumped against the bindings.  
  
Calendrica, satisfied with herself, turned towards Clu. Her face showed sympathy, but I knew it was all a lie. Clu's eyes flashed as she walked up and stood in front of him, inches away from his face. Her voice was soft, but I heard every word.  
  
"Clu? Angel? Malvagita did not know what she was saying, although I was taken aback by your reaction. What could have possibly happened to make you so angry?"  
  
Well, I knew, and judging from the glint in Calendrica's eyes, she knew too. She continued, almost sounding giddy.  
  
"Ah, yes, I know what happened. Your friend, the one whom you trusted, you adored, possibly even loved, threw your friendship back in your face. Poor sweet Angel. You had no idea she valued you so little, did you? She didn't even value you as a person, most likely. You had no idea that in reality, she loathed the very sight of you. And she had no idea that you were sitting there the whole time, pining away for her, desperate to make your feelings known, desperate to take her in your arms and whisper torrid words of passion into her ear, desperate to claim her body as your own, but only able to pass off your feelings as a joke. How sad that she never knew. How sad that she will never ever know."  
  
What? Clu…what? He…what? I can't comprehend this; I don't want to comprehend this. I wish I had never heard this, I wish that I had never known. But now I do know. And since I know, I feel more obligated than ever to do something…but what!!!!!!?  
  
  
  



	15. Discovery

Chapter 15: Discovery  
  
As I crouched there, pondering what to do, I heard a crash come from right next to me. I whipped my head around and saw Annie sitting there, her eyes large as she watched one of the bottles on the desk we had been hiding behind slowly drop to the floor.  
  
Suddenly the table was whisked away and Calendrica and Malvagita stood in front of us, their eyes red with fury.  
  
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!!!!!!!!?" demanded Calendrica, picking up Annie.  
  
"Put her down!!!" I cried, standing up from where I was hiding.  
  
Annie struggled in Calendrica's arms, screaming as though the world was ending. Which it might have been. Malvagita swooped down on me and wretched my hands behind my back.  
  
"Let…go!!!!" I twisted back and forth, but her grip was too strong and I only succeeded in hurting my arms. I stared over at the wall where Jack and Clu were chained. Both boys wore an expression of shock and pain.   
  
"Calendrica, what shall I do with this one?" asked Malvagita, shaking me as if Calendrica didn't know.  
  
"Keep her," said Calendrica, who was in the process of making Annie look like Jack and Clu. Annie's eyes widened as a bandanna was shoved in her mouth. She looked helplessly at me, but I didn't know what to do.  
  
"Why keep her?" asked Malvagita, "She is small and weak and of no use to us."  
  
I kicked my leg back in anger, hitting Malvagita in the shins. She howled with pain and tightened her grip on me so much that I felt as if my arms were going to break.  
  
"Shut up, foolish one!!" cried Calendrica, taking me from Malvagita, "Can you not see that she is special?"  
  
Special?  
  
"Special?" asked Malvagita, scowling at me.  
  
"Yes," said Calendrica, leading me to a chair in the corner of the room. She gently sat me down and I was starting to wonder what she was up to when I felt cold metal clamp around my wrists and ankles. She had locked me into the chair, and I was now facing…Jack and Clu.  
  
"JACK!!!" I cried, struggling against the bindings, "I'll get you out. Both of you!!"  
  
"I'm afraid that won't be possible," said Calendrica, "As we have big plans for these boys. And you're going to sit here and watch."  
  
"But, why?" asked Malvagita, "She's not useful to us in any way."  
  
"She is nosy beyond belief," said Calendrica, "And I think it's only fitting that she witnesses the unspeakable things we're going to do to her friends."  
  
"What are you going to do…?" I hissed.  
  
"Well," said Calendrica, walking over to Annie, "First we'll tear this delicate one's soul out, leaving nothing but an empty shell void of emotions."  
  
Annie struggled and began to cry, her sobs muffled by the bandanna.  
  
Malvagita laughed and walked over to Jack.  
  
"And then, I'm going to give your brother the most intense pleasure he's ever felt in his life," she said, running her hand over the front of Jack's pants as he desperately tried to get away from her.  
  
"Ewww, why would I want to see that?" I asked.  
  
"Because afterwards, I'm going to kill him. And you wouldn't want to miss that, now would you?"  
  
Jack screamed from behind his bandanna as Annie continued to cry. I froze and began to think about what I could do to save them.  
  
"Oh, and that's not the best part, dear Fiona," said Calendrica coming over to me, "Then you're going to watch while I take your beloved Clu and make him scream for mercy, beg for me to stop. But I won't. And you're going to sit there, powerless to do anything to help. And then you're going to watch as I rip out his beautiful heart."  
  
Panicky, I glanced at Clu, who showed no emotion on his face at all.  
  
"But before we do anything," continued Calendrica brightly, "I think my Golden Boy has something to say, don't you, lovey?"  
  
Clu stared at Calendrica, his eyes narrowed and his face twisted into a scowl. Calendrica walked over to him and deftly untied the bandanna.  
  
"Come now, lovely, do say something to Fiona. She is our guest of honor, after all."  
  
I stared at Clu who was looking at me through watery blue eyes.  
  
"I loved you," he said softly.  
  
"Tell her Angel, make her feel your pain," whispered Calendrica.  
  
"Everything I did was for you," he said.  
  
I stared at Clu, listening to his words.  
  
"I tried to be there for you. To help you out when you went off, to protect you when you got in trouble, to stand up for you when no one else would. I lived for you."  
  
"Tell her what else…" hissed Calendrica.  
  
"I…I…I watched you. Constantly. I snuck in while you slept and watched you. I loved to look at you sleeping. You seemed almost peaceful as opposed to your usual fireball personality. I wanted so many times to reach out and touch your hair or run my fingers over your soft skin."  
  
"Tell her your deepest secrets, love…"  
  
"I…I…I can't…"  
  
"TELL HER!!" roared Calendrica.  
  
"I…I…wanted you…so badly. I…wanted to take you into my room…slam you down onto my bed. To love you so much that the world would be able to hear and know of my love for you."  
  
And with that Clu slumped back in his chains.  
  
"You see that, Fiona?" said Calendrica, breaking the silence, "He loved you. And what did you do? You know what you did, and now, you'll have to live with the guilt of knowing you killed your best friend."  
  
"I wouldn't have killed him," I seethed.  
  
"Oh, but Fiona, you would!! You see, had he not been devastated, he wouldn't have run to me for solace. So, yes, you killed him."  
  
"I didn't kill him!!!!!!!!!" I cried, "I…I love him."   
  
  



	16. Fuel Source

Chapter 16: Fuel Source  
  
"Oh, isn't that sweet?" crooned Calendrica, her face twisted into an evil grin, "You love him. Pity it's far too late for that; now isn't it?"  
  
"You can't do this!!" I cried, "My mom, she'll know something's wrong; she'll come looking for me!!"  
  
At this statement Malvagita and Calendrica burst into peals of laughter.  
  
"What is so damn funny!!?" I roared.  
  
Malvagita, still laughing, walked over to the wall where Annie was chained. Annie's eyes bugged out, but Malvagita bypassed her and pressed on a nondescript stone. The stone went into the wall and a table slid out with a bunch of buttons on it. Calendrica, now fully composed, walked over to the wall as Malvagita pressed a button and an overhead came down.  
  
"Ooooh, nice electronics," I snarled, "What's next, a slide show?"  
  
Calendrica growled at me and motioned to Malvagita, who pressed some more buttons. Instantly a picture appeared on the screen. It was Mom on stage. I could see her and Carey and even Ned and Irene off in the stands.  
  
"Your mother can't help you, Fiona," said Calendrica, "She's too busy working for us."  
  
"For you!!?" I asked, astonished, "Mom would never help you!!!"  
  
"Oh, but she is," smirked Calendrica, "You see, dear Fiona. We need your mother, as well as all the women performing here today."  
  
"Why?" I asked; my voice coming out as barely more than a hushed whisper.  
  
"They provide the necessary energy we need to refuel our ship," said Calendrica; as calmly as if you had asked her what color the sky was.  
  
"So that WAS your ship that Annie and I saw!!!" I cried.  
  
"YOU SAW IT!!!?" roared Malvagita.  
  
"Silence, Malvagita, it doesn't matter. In an hour, the girl will be dead, and we'll be free to do as we please with this meddler," said Calendrica.  
  
I had to stall them. The longer I stalled, the better the chance was that someone would notice our disappearance and start looking for us.  
  
"So…you say it ran out of fuel?" I asked, trying to keep an air of calmness around my voice.  
  
"Why, yes," said Calendrica, "It did."  
  
She glanced wistfully off into space and then continued.  
  
"It was terrible really. We had just completed our mission when the energy source went poof."  
  
"Poof?"  
  
"Yes, it was awful. Here we were, two innocent naïve girls who didn't know how to get home without getting our fuel source replenished."  
  
"What's your fuel source?"  
  
"Why isn't that obvious?" said Calendrica, motioning to Malvagita.  
  
Malvagita pressed a button and Mom's voice blared through the room. Calendrica made another motion and Malvagita pressed a button. Mom's voice was suddenly silenced.  
  
"You use songs as a fuel source?" I asked incredulously.  
  
"Not songs," said Calendrica, "When the female human voice sings, it produces a sound frequency so unique and sensitive that the ship picks it out of a crowd and turns it into energy."  
  
"Well…" I was desperate now, "Why not just use the radio, or go to a concert?"  
  
"The radio frequencies aren't loud enough," hissed Malvagita, "and we couldn't get the ship close enough to the performers at other concerts."  
  
"No," interrupted Calendrica, "The only choice we had was to stage this concert, drawing in small name acts we knew would play here."  
  
"My mother is NOT small-time!!!!!!!" I cried, "She's famous. People EVERYWHERE know her!!!"  
  
Calendrica grinned lazily, "Well, that doesn't really matter now, does it?"  



	17. Malvagita’s Redemption

Chapter 17: Malvagita's Redemption  
  
Calendrica walked over to me, a sly grin on her face.  
  
"Poor sweet Fiona," she cooed, "This all must be terrible for you, mustn't it? I mean, here you are all alone. Your mother can't help you; your friends can't help you… You're all alone."   
  
I bit my lip as Calendrica spoke, realizing the truth behind her words. I was all alone. What could I do? My thoughts were muffled as I heard the voice of my brother.  
  
"She's not alone!!!!"  
  
I whipped my head around. Jack had bitten through his bandanna and was now screaming at Calendrica.  
  
"You, you…thing you!!! You think you can just do whatever you want; take us against our will, force us to do horrible things, well, you CAN'T! We'll find a way to get out of this, and you'll be dead, you hideous crone!"  
  
"SHUT UP!" roared Calendrica, practically flying over to him, "I am sick of you and all of your talk. I don't like you, I've never liked you, and now I'm going to do something about it!"  
  
She raised her hands high above her head and a ball of light formed in her hands. Jack's eyes widened as Calendrica threw the ball of light at him.  
  
"NO!"  
  
A blinding light filled the room and a cry of anguish was heard. When the smoke cleared, a crumpled body lay on the floor. I gasped staring down at the dead body that lay before me.  
  
"Well," said Calendrica, "We all have to go sometime."  
  
She then walked over to the body and picked it up, smoothing back the auburn hair.   
  
"Farewell, old friend," she said softly, "You were of great help to me. But we both knew it had to end this way."  
  
She then carried Malvagita's lifeless form to a corner of the room, placing it on the ground. She muttered a few words, and Malvagita's body disappeared in a cloud of pale pink dust. Calendrica then turned and walked back to us, a grim look on her face.  
  
"Enough stalling," she said, "Let's proceed."  
  
"You're heartless!" I cried, "Don't you even care that you killed your friend?"  
  
"My friend?" replied Calendrica with a laugh, "Malvagita was just a lackey, a follower, a crony."  
  
"She was not!" I cried, "She saved my brother's life!"  
  
"But she intended to take it," reminded Calendrica.  
  
"No, I don't think so."  
  
We turned to face Jack.  
  
"She was sweet to me," he said, "She may have talked tough in order to fool you, but I don't think she would have gone through with it. She's not like you, Calendrica. She's not pure evil."  
  
Calendrica's eyes glittered in the dim light of the room.  
  
"Well," she said, "If I'm pure evil, then why are you deliberately trying to get on my bad side?"  
  
Jack was at a loss for words as Calendrica walked over and deftly tied another bandanna around his mouth. She stepped back.   
  
"Enough talk," she said, "Let's begin, shall we?"  
  
She turned and began to walk to Annie, a smile on her face. I watched Annie, who was crying harder than ever. I desperately tried to think of something to do, but came up with nothing.  
  
"Wait," came a calm voice.  
  
I turned and looked. In all the confusion, nobody had remembered that Clu was still able to talk.  
  
"Yes, Angel?" asked Calendrica, walking over to him and running her hand over his chest.  
  
"You don't want them," he said flatly, "Let them go, and I'll go with you willingly. I don't know what you want me for, but I'll do whatever you ask. Just please, let my friends go."  
  
Calendrica looked into Clu's pleading face. She ran a hand over his jaw and smiled.  
  
"Of course, Lovely."  
  
Calendrica turned and deftly untied Annie and Jack, but before either of them could run, she had murmured a few words. The two tumbled to the ground, both out cold.  
  
"You said you'd let them go," said Clu.  
  
"Dear heart, I didn't harm them at all," said Calendrica, "They're merely in a state of relaxation. In their world right now, they're both on a tropical island enjoying the warmth of the sun and each other's company."  
  
"What about her?" said Clu, looking at me.  
  
Oh no. I knew Clu was mad at me, but I couldn't help myself.  
  
"No," I said, "I'm not leaving you."  
  
"You'll get hurt," warned Clu, looking at me, "Please Fi, I have to do this, just please, you have to go."  
  
"I can't," I said, "If I leave, I will have lost everything good in my life. Don't make me go, Clu, I'm begging you."  
  
Calendrica cleared her throat loudly.  
  
"As much as I love this teen soap opera, I feel I must interject something. I actually had no intention of letting you go, Fiona."  
  
"Why not?" asked Clu, his voice laced with fire.  
  
"Sweetness, isn't it obvious? Fiona's special. Even if I let her go, even if I blocked her memory, she would still know, still be able to remember what has happened. She's not like the rest of you humans. She's different. That's why we need her. That's why she must come back with me."  
  
"What?" I asked, "Need me for what?"  
  
"Our culture…" faltered Calendrica, "My people…our way of life…we're a dying species. That's why we came to Earth. To replenish our population. And also…to find you. You're special. You can help us rebuild our civilization. You can rule us, help us to thrive again."  
  
"Why would I help you?" I seethed, "You've kidnapped my friends and me, nearly killed my brother, and seem to delight in torturing me. Why would I possibly want to help you?"  
  
"Because if you don't, I'll kill you," replied Calendrica, "And your precious Clu will be forced to watch."  
  
"I thought I was supposed to watch him die," I said, mocking her.  
  
"I decided this would be more fun," said Calendrica, a wide grin on her face.  



	18. I Just Want You To Know Who I Am…

Chapter 18: I Just Want You To Know Who I Am…  
  
  
Author's Note: Put on an extremely romantic, squishy song. You'll thank me later…  
  
  
  
  
  
I didn't like the feeling that was welling up in the pit of my stomach. It was guilt. Heavy and potent, laced with anguish. I didn't want to die; I didn't want Clu to die.  
  
"Fine," I said dully, "I'll help you. Whatever you need me to do, I'll do. Just don't kill anyone."  
  
"Splendid," said Calendrica, a leer on her face and a gleam in her eyes. She advanced towards Clu when a whining noise came from the wall. Sighing heavily, she walked briskly over to the wall and pressed the stone which would bring up the control panel. She hastily punched buttons and stared at the screen.  
  
"Damn," she said, turning towards Clu and me.  
  
"I have to go. Since I am the person in charge of this event, I'm expected to show up every now and then. I'm going on stage. I'll be back in a half hour. And don't try to leave darlings, because when I leave, I'm taking the only key with me. Seeing as how there's nowhere for you to go and nothing for you to do, I'll graciously release your bindings."  
  
With those words she walked over to my chair and undid the locks. I rubbed my sore wrists, glaring at Calendrica as she ran out of the room, locking the door behind her.  
  
I stood up, twisting myself around to regain the feeling in my arms and legs. I then walked over to the door and pulled on it.  
  
"It's no use; the whole place is magically sealed shut."  
  
I turned. In all my excitement and fear I had forgotten that Clu was still chained. I ran over to him, desperately tugging on the bindings. I looked up into Clu's eyes. Big mistake. His eyes were soft and cloudy blue and he was clearly wrecked emotionally. Without thinking, I reached my hand up to stroke at his face. He pulled away slightly and I realized that my gesture must be similar to Calendrica's. Or else he was repulsed by my touch.  
  
"Clu…I…"  
  
"Stop," he said, "Look, Fi, if we don't get out of this, I just want you to know one thing. I love you. I've always loved you. And a fight won't change that. I don't know what possessed me to act like such a royal fuck-up, but I'm sorry. I would never want to do anything that would damage our friendship. I love you too much for that to ever happen. I…I understand if you don't feel the same way about me, but if what you told Calendrica is true…well, then…I just had to say that in case the worst happens."  
  
I felt a warm tear trickle down the side of my face. How could I have ever thought that my feelings for Clu were strictly platonic? I loved him. He's right up there with oxygen. Staring into his unresponsive eyes, I took a deep breath.  
  
"Clu? I'm…I'm…I'm so sorry."  
  
I felt my resolve slowly crumbling away as I continued.  
  
"I didn't mean it. It was all a mistake. I love you, I'd never want to hurt you. Well, I guess it's too late for that, but…I'll never hurt you again. I promise."  
  
Clu looked into my eyes and I looked back. Blue met brown in a swirl of emotion and honesty. Tearing myself away from his gaze I looked down at his shackles, and with strength that seemed to literally come out of nowhere I ripped at the bindings on his wrists, causing them to fly off across the room. Being unbalanced now, Clu fell into me. I gasped in surprise as he practically fainted in my arms. He had been through so much. It wasn't fair to ask him to be strong or brave. It just wasn't. Wanting to free him completely, I began furiously kicking at the bindings on his ankles with my heels. They broke easily and with Clu's full weight bearing down on me, we fell to the floor heavily. I felt no pain as Clu looked into my eyes, deep longing clouding his clear blue eyes.  
  
"Can I...I mean…I've wanted…for so long…"  
  
I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close to me. Our lips met cautiously, then seemed to meld perfectly together as we shared our first mutual kiss. It seemed as if nothing else mattered. Our world was literally ending, and all we wanted to do was lose ourselves in each other and forget that all of our problems didn't exist. To feel that the simple act of being together was enough to overcome all of our problems.  
  
Years of longing, years of waiting, ending in one simple, blissful moment.  



	19. Wakey-Wakey

Chapter 19: Wakey-Wakey   
  
Author's Note: After a nice creative block, I have regained my muse thanks to Roger and Alex. *hugs!*   
  
  
  
Several minutes later I pulled away from Clu, breathless. The old sparkle had returned to his eyes, and a broad grin stretched across his face.   
  
"So…" he began, "was it good for you?"   
  
Smacking him I stood up and dusted off my pants.   
  
"Very funny, Clu," I laughed, reaching out my hands and pulling him up, "Now come on, we've got to revive Annie and Jack!!"   
  
Clu stood up and brushed off his pants.   
  
"Okay," he said, "But how?"   
  
I paused. How indeed? They were magically knocked out, so shaking couldn't work…or could it? I ran over to Annie and grabbed her shoulders, shaking her furiously. Her head rolled around and wispy blonde hair fell over her face. I was stuck. What should I do?   
  
Clu walked over to me and knelt next to Jack, also shaking his shoulders; albeit much more gently than I was shaking Annie.   
  
"Maybe we could shock them awake?" asked Clu.   
  
"Clu, it's a magical trance, I don't think we could just…"   
  
Clu held up a finger and leaned over to Jack's ear and whispered. Instantly Jack's eyes shot open and he sat up and scooted away from Clu.   
  
"No way, man!!!"   
  
Clu laughed.   
  
"Just kidding, man. You know I'm not like that."   
  
"Like what?" I asked.   
  
Clu leaned over and whispered in my ear.   
  
"I offered to give him a blow job."   
  
I backed away hastily.   
  
"Clu, what the HELL were you thinking!!!?"   
  
"Relax, babe, it was purely in the interest of getting Jack to wake up. It worked, didn't it?"   
  
"I suppose…" I grumbled, "but how are we going to wake up Annie?"   
  
"Guys?" interrupted Jack, "What's going on?"   
  
I looked at him.   
  
"Jack! You were kidnapped by aliens and they were gonna kill you and they're using Mom to fuel their ship and Calendrica knocked you and Annie out and killed Malvagita and we're locked in here!!!!!"   
  
Jack wore a look of confusion on his face.   
  
"Sure, Fi, whatever. Clu, man, what's really going on?"   
  
"Awww, man, she's not lying!! It was weird and messed up and she's telling the truth!!"   
  
"Yeah, sure, Clu. Oh look, Satan's ice-skating!!"   
  
"Where?"   
  
I stood up and stomped over to Jack.   
  
"I'm serious!" I said, poking him in the chest, "And Mom's going to be in serious trouble if we don't help!"   
  
"What about Annie?" asked Jack, motioning to her lifeless form.   
  
"You help Annie, we'll figure out some way to get out of here," I said, as Clu and I walked to the door.   
  
"Well…" said Jack, "Not that I believe this, but if Mom's involved…"   
  
He then walked over to Annie and began to gently slap her face.   
  
Oh this is too good to pass up.   
  
"It has to be a shock, Jack, slap harder!!"   
  
THWACK!!!


	20. Wicked!!!

Chapter 20: Wicked!!!   
  
Okay. So Mom's in deep trouble. She's being…used by that evil creature! I can't let that happen. Fabulous, Fiona; you're going to stop this thing all by yourself. Didn't you see how she turned her friend into dust? Well, I have to do something!   
  
I hate losing arguments with myself. Oh well, forget that. Let's see, we need to get out of this room. What do I have to work with? I have the brawn, that's Clu. I have the brains, that's Jack. I have the bimbo, that's Annie. Is Annie even awake yet?   
  
I turned to see if Jack had woken Annie. They sat on the floor, Jack apologizing profusely and Annie holding her hand over her cherry-red cheek. They were once again arguing. Man, the sexual tension was so thick between them; you could have carved up a slice of tension pie. That would be really nasty…tension pie…with essence of Annie…ICK. I decided to shut down this train of thought in favor of something more productive, like figuring out how to get us out of this room. If I were an evil bitchy woman hell-bent on the destruction of something…where would I keep the key to unlock the door?   
  
"Um…Fi?"   
  
I turned. Clu stood there, looking confused as always.   
  
"Yeah?" I asked.   
  
"Are we ever going to get out of here?" he asked, his lower lip jutting forward.   
  
Damn his irresistibility.   
  
"Of course we are," I said softly.   
  
"Uh, guys? I hate to break up this moment of tenderness, but we kind of need to get out of here."   
  
"Thanks, Jack, you're such a master of the obvious."   
  
"Well, if you weren't making lovey-dovey eyes at Clu, you'd think of something!"   
  
"Why do I have to think of something?"   
  
"Because you're the one who believes in all this paranormal junk!! One would think you'd at least know how to get us out of here!"   
  
"So I'm just supposed to waltz over to the door and mumble some sort of spell and it'll work?"   
  
"Or you could try kicking it."   
  
"Jack, I'm barely 5'1'', what makes you think I could open the door?"   
  
"Fine. Clu, you're tall, open the door."   
  
"Sure, dude."   
  
Clu walked up the stone steps and stared at the door. With a furious scream, he hurled himself against the door, resulting in a loud clunk, a still-closed door, and an injured Clu.   
  
"Ah, shit, shit, SHIT!!!!!!" he cried, falling to the floor, clutching his shoulder.   
  
"Clu!!" I cried, running over to him.   
  
At the same time Annie squealed, "Ooooh, shiny!!"   
  
She raced over and threw herself onto the floor, grabbing something.   
  
"What is it, Annie?" asked Jack gently, walking over to her and attempting to pry whatever Annie was clutching out of her hands.   
  
Smiling, Annie handed him the object.   
  
"Well, I'll be damned…"   
  
Jack held up the bright, shiny, metallic key.   
  
"Clu, buddy, you injured genius," he said, "I could kiss you!"   
  
"Please don't…" groaned Clu, still in pain, "I'd have to kill you."   
  
"Not with that shoulder still wrecked, you can't!" I said cheerfully.   
  
"What?" I asked, looking at the shocked faces around me.   
  
I saw Jack shake his head slightly, and then he raced up the stairs.   
  
"Come on, baby, open, open, open…" chanted Jack as he slid the key into the lock.   
  
With a tiny click, the door smoothly swung open.   
  
"Come on," I said, grabbing Clu's hand, "Let's get out of here."   
  
We exited the room as Jack sighed, raced down the stairs, grabbed Annie's wrist, and dragged her up the stairs through the door.   
  
"Where are we going, Jack?" she giggled.   
  
"Um…um…"   
  
"We're going to the stage, Annie," I cut in, "So that you can perform."   
  
"Really?" she asked, her eyes large, "Wicked!!"   
  
"Isn't it?" I laughed weakly, "Now come on, we're wasting precious time."   
  
And we ran up the sloping path into the hut and out into the warm sunshine. 


	21. Maximum Squishyness

Chapter 21: Maximum Squishyness   
  
As we ran through the festival towards the main stage I thought about what to do. This woman couldn't be beaten! She was just too powerful. She had no weaknesses…   
  
Weaknesses…   
  
"Stop!!!" I cried.   
  
Clu stopped abruptly, causing Jack to plow into him, causing Annie to smash into him. They all fell to the ground in a heap of tangled limbs.   
  
"Fi," croaked Jack, "What was that for?"   
  
Sighing heavily, I helped them up, speaking very quickly.   
  
"Here's the thing. We need to stop this woman before she sucks out mom's energy or whatever it is that she's planning to do. Now, I didn't believe that crap story about 'oh save us Fi' blah blah blah, I think she just wanted to keep Clu alive. Don't you see? To stop her we have to use Clu!! He's our only hope!"   
  
Well, our only hope was missing.   
  
"Oh, crap, Clu!! Where are you?" I called.   
  
"Over here!"   
  
I turned and saw Clu standing over by a hot dog vendor buying a hot dog.   
  
"I told you it was like Scooby Doo," said Annie, fluffing her blonde hair.   
  
Remind me to smack her when I get the chance. Ignoring Annie, I ran over to Clu and dragged him by his elbow back over to the group. Well if Annie and Jack constitute a group…maybe a posse is a more accurate term. Yeah, a posse!!! Notorious Fi!!! Where was I again? Oh yes, plan.   
  
"So what's this great plan?" asked Jack.   
  
Good question.   
  
"Well," I began, "We need to lure Calendrica into the open. Well, she's already in the open. I guess we have to…dispose of her."   
  
"Wait!! Hold on!!" cried Annie, "Are you saying we have to KILL her?"   
  
Brilliant observation, Einstein.   
  
"Well she's going to kill us otherwise!" I cried, "We can't just sit here and let her do it!"   
  
Annie looked puzzled, as always.   
  
"But…but…I…killing…it's wrong, isn't it?"   
  
"Very wrong," I said solemnly, "Now, where was I? Right, we need to stop her. How do you kill an alien?"   
  
"Oh, I suppose it's not much different than killing a human."   
  
We turned. Calendrica stood behind us, her eyes blazing with molten fury. With a long cry that sounded similar to a cat being strangled, she descended upon Annie, stretching her arms out and enveloping her.   
  
We heard Annie's cries and jumped into action. Jack began to claw at Calendrica, while I grabbed for Annie. Clu stood there, his jaw slack.   
  
"Uh…" he said, biting his lip.   
  
"Clu, do something!" I hollered, "Help us!"   
  
And Clu did the only thing he could think of. He walked over to me and grabbed my shoulders, pulling me off Annie.   
  
"Clu. What're you…Annie!! And…GAH!!!"   
  
For Clu had once again kissed me without warning. However this time I kissed back. I then felt icy cold hands wrapped around me. Clu's hands.   
  
"Clu, what's going on…?"   
  
Calendrica stood behind Clu, a cruel smirk twisted on her face.   
  
"Fi, I have to go…if I go with her, she'll leave you all alone."   
  
"But…Clu, she's killing you!!!"   
  
"It's either me or Annie."   
  
"We don't like Annie!!"   
  
"But does that mean she deserves to die?" asked Clu, becoming paler by the second.   
  
I was speechless. Before I could answer a hideous shriek came from Calendrica. We both turned around and saw Calendrica's face twisted into a horrible grimace. A large sharp fencepost jutted out from her stomach, but there was no blood. With a hideous wail, she exploded in a cloud of dust.   
  
"I thought that only happened on Buffy…" muttered Clu, the color returning to his face.   
  
As the dust settled we saw a figure emerge from the cloud.   
  
"Jack!!?" I cried, nearly tripping over my heels.   
  
I ran to him and he wrapped his arms around me in a hug.   
  
"Oh Jack, how did you, I mean…and what about…"   
  
"Oh come on Fi, I couldn't just let you die. I love you."   
  
"I love you too, Jack." 


	22. Joy To The World

Chapter 22: Joy To The World  
  
Crying with joy I buried my head in Jack's shoulder as he softly stroked my hair. I couldn't believe this. My brother, my non-believing, kind to puppies-and-small-children brother, had just staked El Creepy. I wish I had a camera. I wish I had a video recorder. I wish the news was here!!!! But alas, I had none of that, so I settled for kissing Jack on the cheek.  
  
"Hey, Fi…don't…don't be like that, okay? I'm only doing what every big brother is supposed to do."  
  
Jack's face was stern, but I could see a tear rolling down his cheek. I grinned, feeling as if everything was okay when I heard an "Oh my God!"  
  
Turning I saw Mom, Carey, Ned, and Irene running up to us. Mom immediately hunched down. I saw she was standing over Annie, who was lying on the ground all bloody.  
  
"What happened to Annie?" asked Carey, glancing at Clu.  
  
Before my brainless boy could answer I cut in, "BEES!!! Rabid killer nasty bees, and…well…Annie's allergic!!"  
  
Mom gasped.  
  
"We have to help her! Irene, call an ambulance, Ned get some wet paper towels."  
  
"Wait…" came Annie's weak voice, "I'll be okay; just…can somebody tell me what happened?"  
  
"Bees," said Jack and I at the same time. Annie stared at us like we had lost our minds and then sat up with Mom's help. Ned, who had run off to get paper towels, came jogging up and handed them to Annie. She began to wipe at her face and arms until she was clean. She was damp, but she was clean.  
  
I felt bad for Annie, but what could I do? We can't undo the past. So I walked over to Annie and put an arm around her shoulders.  
  
"Come on, Annie," I said, "I think you need to lie down."  
  
I led Annie off to the bus, the whole clan behind us. Apparently none of them had seen Jack stake the wench, so Jack said he had just fallen in the dirt several times, and that was why he was so dusty. Carey then asked Clu why he looked so pale.  
  
"I lost massive blood sugar, man," he said, "Luckily; I'll get that back later."  
  
He then hastened his steps and caught up to me. Wrapping his arm around my shoulders he bent over and whispered into my ear, "You are going to give me some sugar, aren't you, Fi?"  
  
Using my free arm I elbowed him in the stomach. Dumb boys. Always thinking about one thing. I'm so glad I'm a girl.  
  
Once we reached the bus and put Annie to bed, I decided that I was going to be nicer to her. It's not her fault all this stuff happens to her. She's just too dumb to know what's going on. Well, there went the being nice idea, right out the window. Good-bye nice thoughts!!! I'll miss you!!!!  
  
Walking through the tiny hallway of the bus I heard Mom and Irene in the "Conference Room" as they liked to call it. I liked to call it the kitchen, or, "the room that actually had a table in it". I walked past them up to the living area of the bus, where Clu and Carey were engaged in a heated game of…something on the Playstation. Jack was reading a book and as I sat down next to him I whispered, "What's going on?"  
  
"I don't know," said Jack, "but they've been at it for quite a while now."  
  
"Oh, bleah," I muttered, and then after thinking for a while I whispered to Jack, "watch this."  
  
He smirked as I crept over to where Clu was playing. I sat next to him and whispered in his ear, "When this game is over, I'm going to absolutely ravish you."  
  
Clu dropped his controller and Carey's little car thing sped across the finish line. Jack burst out laughing. As Carey stood up and began dancing and cheering, Clu turned to me.  
  
"Do you mean it? Are you serious? Now?" he asked; his eyes very large.  
  
"Sorry," I said in between giggles, "I don't ravish losers."  
  
Growling playfully, Clu grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap. As I burst out laughing, I couldn't help but think that everything was going perfectly. I really wish I had a camera.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
End 


End file.
